We're in a punk band so if you play bad, people think it's charming. yeah! NOFX we're so terrible today huh? it doesn't matter we could be good or bad so why would you get nervous. I only get nervous about... I care  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup me having a good time.
if I'm not gonna have a good time... that's a bummer. that's the beauty about punk rock is you don't have to be good you just have to have good songs.

You know what's nice? It's to still come to Germany and play festivals and  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup have people really like us it's crazy 32 years probably not I think our songs are good but I I think we have a rapport with the crowd people know that we're not full  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup shit it's not an act like and we have a good time.

Bands plan out shit like I change our setlist every night. And I  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup we played a song tonight that we don't know the lyrics to and our drummers like no we don't know that song I'm  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup we're doing it we're fucking doing it and I... I do not know the lyrics when we just played it it was it was funny. Musics not supposed to be perfect and that's the  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup of punk rock but like I knew the bass player in pink at one point his girl and she messed up one song she got fired you know like ah you're not allowed to mess  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup well that's no fun if I defy everyone who played a bad note.....

Everyone  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup our band plays a wrong chord  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup least three or four times for sure who cares our one rule is make sure you're  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup tune that's really the most important thing the best advice you can give a band just make sure you're in tune if you're not in tune everything sounds bad..you could be  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup sloppy as you want if you're in tune it's gonna sound good at least a little bit but it could never sound good if you're  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup tune punk rock's been dead since 1973 all right not uh

I went to this show last month  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup a bar; saw Reagan Youth and there's about 30 people there then everyone is drunk and we all sang songs
of the band punk rock is just how it's always been you just got to find it. This one band Get Dead I signed them I met him at a bar the guy too that guy and they were just  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup dicks but we got drunk I signed him and then I'm producing them  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup the studio this is fucking true like hey this party I'm like my daughter has a recital tomorrow piano recital so I can't party tonight I go to the bathroom I come back I had one more beer... they fucking put MDMA and acid!! they dosed me!! they fucking dosed me!!!

I own the fucking label. I'm glad they wouldn't hit me in the head with a baseball bat - I'm just saying they fucking dosed me I told my label like that scared him let's fucking get him  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup the label and I called a couple people I know from other labels like get rid  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup the band and I couldn't do it it's like it's so ballsy they fucking dosed me fucking assholes.

you know people you that that whole argument nature versus nurture. The first thing I ever jerked off to was SM. I looked at my mom had a bunch of porn er magazines penthouse Playboy I'm like and then I read a story about submissive man and leather and stuff and hey it really is like when a gay person realizes they're gay I did the same thing. it's my sexuality I know why I'm saying this, but my mom uh.. when I was  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup teen years, she told me about sex because my dad was whoever she said you know what women really like Michael? - they want you to be really affectionate and fuck them slow and be very gentle, so that's what I thought. You're supposed to do and I found  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup totally wrong no you got to fuck the shit out of a woman my mother always told me I was too smart she let to do drugs and fuck  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup my brain I don't know I believed it so I went school went to college started label and after I was successful uh I was like hmm I think I should start trying drugs now when the no effects book comes  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup I told both my daughters I said when you turn 18 you could never read this book because they can never ever read the book it's crazy I mean there's molestation, there's murder rape,
piss, drinking, hepatitis heroin the early years of no effects were insane no our drummer was a junkie for a long time I never did it but his stories what he went  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup you know you know you know how you score heroin in LA now he would score heroin he knows the dealer but there's so many cops around the dealer has heroin in his here so gives him the
money and then he takes it and then puts it in his mouth and then walks  aboutasatawaybeautyinin mykind oflikeofoffoutout ofstillthroughup that's how you buy heroin. Gross!!

BOOK: NOFX: The Hepatitis Bathtub and Other Stories