Most people you'll meet in life are friendly kind and generous but every so often you'll run into some pretty difficult people you may find them at work at school or even at home. The worst thing about difficult people is that they can make life miserable for you.

There are many different kinds of difficult personalities. Do you recognize any of these people?

 bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset : I enjoy making other people feel bad about themselves.

Mister or ms  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset : I love to complain about how bad things are.

The  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset : I can't stand not getting what I want, so I scream and yell a lot.

The  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset : I insist on telling everyone else how things should be done.

If difficult people can make your life miserable knowing how to deal with them
effectively can make your life a lot easier here's a simple two-step approach:

STEP ONE: ask yourself what's the  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset

people are difficult because they get some kind of reward for their behavior being difficult gives them something they want.

STEP TWO:  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset how can you stop the reward how can you not get the difficult person the things they enjoy getting?

Take the bully for example. What's the reward for the bully's behavior and how can you stop the reward?

Bullies feel better about themselves by making you feel  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset yourself; they like to make you feel  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset and nervous, and they enjoy getting into arguments because they usually win. To prevent this reward decide that you will not let the bully make you feel bad
about yourself. Stay  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset and calm; avoid getting emotional. Try asking them to stop their behavior and if they won't,  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset them or leave the room they can't get their reward if you won't talk with them.

How about the exploders: what's their reward and how can you keep them from getting it?
Exploders throw  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset because they love getting attention. They want everyone else to stop what they're doing and  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset them you can prevent this reward by refusing to talk with them until they've calmed down you can say I understand you're angry and I don't mind talking with you about it after you calm down.

If they can't calm down, ignore them or  bad aboutcoolexploderfigure outfocus onignoreknow-it-allleavenegativerewardtantrumsthe bullyupset the room until they are calm again. The best way to deal with difficult people is to avoid interacting with them but if you can't you can use this approach to handle mr. or ms negative the know-it-all and the other difficult people you're bound to meet.

DEFINITIONS:

Tantrum

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